This has changed my perspective. It doesn’t happen often, but I’m mind-blown. I’ve felt ashamed of this for my whole life and I’ve internalized other people’s commentary and I’m just working on “fixing it”. The other day, my husband caught me talking in my usual, metaphorical way and he said “wow your inner life is really intense. I don’t know if I’d describe things like that.” And I was so confused, because to me it’s just natural to process things the way I do.
Now, you gave me something to think about, because I’m often stuck between metacognition and overthinking. But the added layers of shame don’t help.
Vera, your comment makes me so happy to share pieces of myself here. I once read, "Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces," and sitting with your words, I’m reminded of that truth.
The layers of shame around "overthinking" are so unnecessary, and I’m just so glad to be a tiny part of helping you release some of that burden. We don't need it (or deserve it)!
Your husband’s comment? It’s a perfect reminder that we get to define how we process our inner worlds. It’s not weird or wrong—it’s simply our way. And I’m honoured you’re embracing it now.
Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m rooting for you <3
I’m so happy you’re sharing pieces of yourself here. The way you write is incredibly touching, and sharp at the same time. We’re all lucky we get to read your writing.❤️
I wish you only the best and hope you stick around for a long while. 🫂
Got me thinking about thinking Hargun. As I read more of your essays, I am slowly seeing this connective thread between the voice you have now and the voice you had growing up. Almost like a conversation between the two but in real time. Excellent research here. I love how this essay had polls, stats, tweet shots and more. Have to be kinder to my thought spirals now and make clear distinctions between metathinking and overthinking. Not all thinking is really that bad. Sometimes it is just a conversation with yourself. And that is okay right!
Yes, oh my gosh, that IS perfectly okay! And like you're such a cool person to speak with, Abhishek, why wouldn't you wanna speak with yourself? Haha.
Thank you for reading and for observing everything you did! You complimenting me on the research? Wow, makes me feel very validated, since I admire that skillset in you so much!
And I feel so seen by you, noticing the thread between my voice now and the one I had growing up—that truly hit home. I often feel, whenever I read my journals, old writing—that all of this? It's just always been a way to speak to my self through different timelines.
Damn, such an informative essay Hargun. Metacognition reminds me of how therapy/ therapists approach a person and their emotions. In a self aware way that's curious and not anxious.
I think I too often dabble between both, metacognition and over thinking (hate that word) although now It'll help me be more aware maybe and switch to metacognition.
Damn, Forum! Your comparison of metacognition and therapy is 🤌
I'm also so glad this essay helped make the distinction between metacognition and overthinking clearer for you!
These last few days when we were speaking (esp vns) and I was working on this essay, I could see you + metacognition in real-time and I was like wow...it's all so clear now.
It's impossible, I think, to have higher-order thinking skills or the ability to comprehend and think about abstract concepts (a deep enough inquiry in any field ultimately will involve abstraction), without metacognition.
I think I'd not have been able to crawl out the pits I found often myself in, several times in my life, had I not able to rely on thinking about my own thinking and thereby setting it right.
It's absolutely essential, I think, if one intends to be in better control of their minds, and it's unfortunate many aren't skilled at it, or don't engage in it.
As someone who’s been called ‘too intense’ I’ve spent years apologizing for ‘overthinking’, turns out I was just thinking deeper than the people around me.
The ‘meta baddies’ tag? I’m claiming that like a crown.
‘You were just a thinker who refused to turn off the lights when everyone else said it was bedtime’ and also, the ‘fake conversations with people who aren’t even mad at you yet’ line? TOO REAL
The ‘meta baddies’ tag? I’m claiming that like a crown.
Yes, 100%! You absolutely must! (Won’t even charge you any royalties :p)
I hope you (and I) can stop apologising for the way our brains work and how we process things and engage with the world. Like why do we have to feel bad for being…if I may say it…better.
As for the classmate, tempted to hit her up and ask her if she has any memory of that conversation—she will probably think I’m a weirdo, haha.
I feel many times my thoughts starts with overthinking but then end up with meta cognition. But sometimes the process can take days where I have spend time overthinking before I start seeing ways to move forward.
Kshitij, I like how you've shared that it's often the reverse for you—from overthinking into metacognition—adds another layer of nuance to my thoughts on this subject!
Also, I love how you’ve described that transition… it reminds me that even the “stuck” moments are part of the process.
Ndeye, thank you so much for this beautiful comment—it means the world to me 💜
“Life-saving” is such a high, tender compliment… it reaffirms exactly why I choose to share these vulnerable parts of myself in writing. I’m so glad it found you and spoke to you.
Here’s to kinder inner worlds and to slaying shame!
Such a good article! And the poll showed that kindred overthinkers fly (read) together?
I have and still am labeled an overthinker, but not always in a negative sense. Many are amazed at all the permutations in my head.
Two takeaways for me here: self editing isn’t that unique, and to try to stay in the empowering metacognition model. That second thought is what meditation aims to achieve too, to be aware and intentional at the same time.
This has changed my perspective. It doesn’t happen often, but I’m mind-blown. I’ve felt ashamed of this for my whole life and I’ve internalized other people’s commentary and I’m just working on “fixing it”. The other day, my husband caught me talking in my usual, metaphorical way and he said “wow your inner life is really intense. I don’t know if I’d describe things like that.” And I was so confused, because to me it’s just natural to process things the way I do.
Now, you gave me something to think about, because I’m often stuck between metacognition and overthinking. But the added layers of shame don’t help.
Thank you for this. You’re a life saver! 💙🔥
Vera, your comment makes me so happy to share pieces of myself here. I once read, "Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces," and sitting with your words, I’m reminded of that truth.
The layers of shame around "overthinking" are so unnecessary, and I’m just so glad to be a tiny part of helping you release some of that burden. We don't need it (or deserve it)!
Your husband’s comment? It’s a perfect reminder that we get to define how we process our inner worlds. It’s not weird or wrong—it’s simply our way. And I’m honoured you’re embracing it now.
Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m rooting for you <3
I’m so happy you’re sharing pieces of yourself here. The way you write is incredibly touching, and sharp at the same time. We’re all lucky we get to read your writing.❤️
I wish you only the best and hope you stick around for a long while. 🫂
Got me thinking about thinking Hargun. As I read more of your essays, I am slowly seeing this connective thread between the voice you have now and the voice you had growing up. Almost like a conversation between the two but in real time. Excellent research here. I love how this essay had polls, stats, tweet shots and more. Have to be kinder to my thought spirals now and make clear distinctions between metathinking and overthinking. Not all thinking is really that bad. Sometimes it is just a conversation with yourself. And that is okay right!
Yes, oh my gosh, that IS perfectly okay! And like you're such a cool person to speak with, Abhishek, why wouldn't you wanna speak with yourself? Haha.
Thank you for reading and for observing everything you did! You complimenting me on the research? Wow, makes me feel very validated, since I admire that skillset in you so much!
And I feel so seen by you, noticing the thread between my voice now and the one I had growing up—that truly hit home. I often feel, whenever I read my journals, old writing—that all of this? It's just always been a way to speak to my self through different timelines.
Damn, such an informative essay Hargun. Metacognition reminds me of how therapy/ therapists approach a person and their emotions. In a self aware way that's curious and not anxious.
I think I too often dabble between both, metacognition and over thinking (hate that word) although now It'll help me be more aware maybe and switch to metacognition.
Damn, Forum! Your comparison of metacognition and therapy is 🤌
I'm also so glad this essay helped make the distinction between metacognition and overthinking clearer for you!
These last few days when we were speaking (esp vns) and I was working on this essay, I could see you + metacognition in real-time and I was like wow...it's all so clear now.
It's impossible, I think, to have higher-order thinking skills or the ability to comprehend and think about abstract concepts (a deep enough inquiry in any field ultimately will involve abstraction), without metacognition.
I think I'd not have been able to crawl out the pits I found often myself in, several times in my life, had I not able to rely on thinking about my own thinking and thereby setting it right.
It's absolutely essential, I think, if one intends to be in better control of their minds, and it's unfortunate many aren't skilled at it, or don't engage in it.
As someone who’s been called ‘too intense’ I’ve spent years apologizing for ‘overthinking’, turns out I was just thinking deeper than the people around me.
The ‘meta baddies’ tag? I’m claiming that like a crown.
‘You were just a thinker who refused to turn off the lights when everyone else said it was bedtime’ and also, the ‘fake conversations with people who aren’t even mad at you yet’ line? TOO REAL
Also, that 14 year old classmate? Absolute legend
Thank you, Hargun!
The ‘meta baddies’ tag? I’m claiming that like a crown.
Yes, 100%! You absolutely must! (Won’t even charge you any royalties :p)
I hope you (and I) can stop apologising for the way our brains work and how we process things and engage with the world. Like why do we have to feel bad for being…if I may say it…better.
As for the classmate, tempted to hit her up and ask her if she has any memory of that conversation—she will probably think I’m a weirdo, haha.
OMG! a one word reaction because I’m processing the import of this. Thanks for writing!
Haha, LOVE this reaction! And thank you for reading and taking the time to appreciate it.
I feel many times my thoughts starts with overthinking but then end up with meta cognition. But sometimes the process can take days where I have spend time overthinking before I start seeing ways to move forward.
Kshitij, I like how you've shared that it's often the reverse for you—from overthinking into metacognition—adds another layer of nuance to my thoughts on this subject!
Also, I love how you’ve described that transition… it reminds me that even the “stuck” moments are part of the process.
This post is mind-blowing, liberating and probably life-saving for the ones who feel shame for their own thinking process. 💜Thank you so much !
Ndeye, thank you so much for this beautiful comment—it means the world to me 💜
“Life-saving” is such a high, tender compliment… it reaffirms exactly why I choose to share these vulnerable parts of myself in writing. I’m so glad it found you and spoke to you.
Here’s to kinder inner worlds and to slaying shame!
You got acknowledged by Jerry Pinto.
I'm jealous🥲
P.S. I'm reading the same book currently
Also this was an interesting read!
Haha Abhishek, the Jerry Pinto thing had me squealing too—I feel you 🥲
(Shout out to my friend who attended his event just so she could get it signed for me!)
Also, so cool that you’re reading the book right now! It’s such a masterclass in observation, isn’t it? Makes you want to linger inside sentences!
And thank you for reading this essay :)
The book is teenage hormoes at its best 😂
I've just started though
You think you're gently reflecting—and suddenly you're planning fake conversations with people who aren't even mad at you yet.
Are you talking about me ???
Such a good article! And the poll showed that kindred overthinkers fly (read) together?
I have and still am labeled an overthinker, but not always in a negative sense. Many are amazed at all the permutations in my head.
Two takeaways for me here: self editing isn’t that unique, and to try to stay in the empowering metacognition model. That second thought is what meditation aims to achieve too, to be aware and intentional at the same time.